What You Should Know Before Filing for Divorce

Whether you are the spouse considering filing or you are responding to a filing, having a clear exit strategy will save time, money, and emotional energy. Below are practical steps to prepare for separation and divorce, organized so you can act with purpose, protect your rights, and plan for the life that comes next.

Gather and organize important documents, files and digital online access:

• Bank statements (personal and joint) from at least the last two to three years
• Credit card statements and loan documents
• Tax returns and W-2s/1099s for several prior years
• Pay stubs and employment records
• Retirement account statements (401k, 403b, IRAs, pensions)
• Investment account statements and brokerage records
• Mortgage documents, deeds, vehicle titles, and property appraisals
• Insurance policies (health, life, home, auto) and beneficiary designations
• Business records if you or your spouse own a business
• Any correspondence about debts, loans, or large gifts

Store these records somewhere your spouse does not have easy access to. Options include a safe deposit box, a locked file at your workplace, or a secure cloud storage account you control. The goal is to preserve evidence and avoid last-minute scrambles when litigation begins.

Tips for online accounts:

• Create a private email address and use it for all future financial and legal communications.
• Change passwords for accounts you exclusively use; do this carefully to avoid immediate conflict if you live together.
• Open a new checking and savings account at a different bank and transfer a reasonable emergency fund, but don’t empty one account into another.
• Keep a secure record of usernames and passwords in a password manager you control.

Note – Do not use account changes as a bargaining weapon. Also avoid dramatic asset moves intended to hide money. Modern financial systems leave electronic trails, and trying to conceal assets can backfire and harm your credibility with the court.

If you plan to seek alimony, a budget will form the foundation of your request. Document income shortfalls and be prepared to explain why you need financial support. Judges look for a clear comparison between current income and reasonable living needs.

Financial Tips:

• Stop using joint credit cards unless necessary for shared obligations.
• Pay down existing balances where possible.
• Address urgent bills promptly to avoid collections or damage to credit.
• Discuss large purchases with your attorney before moving forward.

Judges can look unfavorably on attempts to manipulate finances maliciously. Protect your credit and focus on stabilizing your financial picture rather than winning short-term emotional victories.

Family Living:

• Continue attending activities, games, recitals, and school events when possible.
• Keep communication calm and child-focused during transitions.
• Create predictable routines so kids experience stability.
• Document your involvement so a judge can see the ongoing parental role.

Being reliable and visible in your children’s lives is not only good parenting; it will also be persuasive evidence if custody becomes a contested issue.

Insurance Considerations:

• COBRA continuation coverage (temporary and often expensive)
• Private health insurance through the marketplace or an employer
• Medicaid or state programs if you meet income eligibility
• Short-term plans as an emergency stopgap while you secure long-term coverage

Understand the costs and deadlines for enrollment. Lack of coverage can create immediate risks, so prioritize this early in your planning.

Parenting Considerations:

• Dates and times you had the children in your care
• Who paid specific household or child-related bills
• Visits, exchanges, and any missed parenting time
• Incidents that affect custody or safety concerns

Use a printable calendar, a secure digital calendar, or a written journal. If your spouse claims primary custody, a clear, dated record showing shared or predominant parenting time can make a significant difference.

Banking Considerations:

• Save canceled checks, bank transfers, and receipts.
• Take screenshots of online payments with timestamps.
• Keep copies of bills and correspondence showing payment arrangements.

These records are useful for negotiating settlements and proving your arguments in court.

General Planning:

Use this time to create a realistic life plan. Financial independence often requires a step-by-step approach. Short-term sacrifices may be necessary to meet long-term stability and security.

• Experience anticipating and addressing future contingencies
• Knowledge of local laws, courts, and judges
• Assistance drafting enforceable settlement terms for property, support, custody, and retirement accounts
• Representation in court to ensure your rights are protected

For example, an agreement that relies on one spouse to refinance a house can fail if that spouse cannot qualify for a loan later. An attorney will include fallback provisions such as a plan to sell the property or create a timeline for refinancing.

Camly speak with your spouse:

• Choose a neutral, private time to talk when emotions are not running high.
• Be clear about what you want and listen to what the other person wants.
• Discuss major items—children, property, debt, and support—so you know where you agree and where you differ.
• If you reach an understanding, have an attorney draft the settlement to ensure it is legally sound and anticipates future contingencies.

Keep in mind that verbal agreements are not enough. Always reduce any agreements to writing and have them reviewed by counsel before signing.

What not to do

Avoid common mistakes that complicate divorce:

• Do not fraudulently transfer property or hide money. Electronic and paper trails make concealment risky and often punishable.
• Do not accumulate excessive new debt to spite your spouse. Courts may consider such actions when allocating liabilities.
• Do not sign legal documents you do not understand. A quick internet form rarely addresses the complexities of real-world situations.
• Do not disappear from your children’s lives. Consistent involvement benefits children and preserves parental rights.

Preparing emotionally and practically

Divorce is stressful. Planning well reduces uncertainty and helps you make clearer decisions. Surround yourself with trusted friends, family, or professional support. If you have children, prioritize routines and stability. If finances are tight, focus on securing health coverage and a safe place to live.

Think of this period as planning the next chapter rather than ending a chapter. Small, thoughtful actions today create a stronger foundation for tomorrow.  

For professional help, contact High & Younes Attorneys in Omaha at 402-933-3345.